When Someone Pisses You Off...

We’ve all been there… you can’t always control who you work or live with and you just have a harder time collaborating / living / relationshipping with some peeps.

Coming from a heavy client services background, in my former life as a management consultant, I had to do tons of work for unreasonable clients or engage with teams I didn’t agree with. And had to put on a happy face at the same time.

My mindfulness practice has led me to a place where I’m much quicker to recognize how these types of engagements drain my energy, or give me energy, if I’m working on an exciting collaboration with someone I vibe with (and oh how I WISH I had known my E-Factor 10 years ago!)

But giiiiirl, sometimes people just piss me off!!

Think about the last time you had to work on a project with someone and you had a disagreement or lack of alignment. What was the specific circumstance and how did you react?

Here’s a quick example… I have a co-worker who I do not see eye-to-eye with. We owed a presentation to our Executive Vice President on something important he asked for. Her interpretation of what we should present was, in my opinion, not at all answering the question he had asked of us.

Since I didn’t want anyone on the team to look like morons presenting something so off base, I tried to work with her to understand her perspective and share a new approach. This led to a litany of illogical responses (in my opinion) and we weren’t able to come to a conclusion around what to share.

After leaving the meeting practically fuming because we couldn’t reach a conclusion, I immediately anchored around my E-Factor (Energy Leadership) training.

It’s stuff like this that can turn a bad moment into a bad day. No thank you… that is not how I want to live my life.

There are 7 levels of energy that we all operate amongst, with different amounts of energy in each level under normal circumstances and during times of stress.

So, I decided to develop a scenario… what would a reaction to this situation look like at each level of energy?

  • Level 1: Ugh, here she goes again! It’s always such a waste of time dealing with her! Whatever, I’m just not going to work with her anymore.

  • Level 2: I am so pissed. I’m going to tell my leader how much she sucks so we aren’t put on projects together anymore.

  • Level 3: I can’t expect everyone to have the same perspective… we have to get this report done so I’ll play nice so we both look like we did a good job.  

  • Level 4: She must be really overwhelmed right now and doesn’t have the time to really process what we need to do. How can I best help her?

  • Level 5: It’s all good. This is a learning opportunity for both of us. We’re in this together so let’s figure out how we can use our different opinions for the best outcome.

  • Level 6: I’ve been in her shoes before and can’t judge her for having a different perspective than me. This isn’t a make-or-break activity to get worked up over, so what’s an innovative solution we can explore together?

  • Level 7: This is exactly the experience we are meant to be having. It’s not good or bad, it just is, and everything will work out as it needs to.

How did I react initially during this stressful time? Level 1, 100%.

Now, I say “initially” for a reason… that’s the reaction that started bubbling up, but with my E-Factor experience and mindfulness, I recognized it quickly and was able to turn it around for the best results and honestly, to protect my own energy and attitude.

And after making this list mentally, I consciously made the decision to move into a Level 5 response. A much more productive level of energy and action.

It’s no surprise to me that this is the process I went through… after doing the E-Factor assessment myself, I discovered that Level 5 is my primary energetic profile, and that Level 1 is my primary response to stress.

And now what I can do with this information is consciously choose how I wish to respond. I get to decide how long I want to stay in a certain catabolic (draining) energy level or jump to a higher level that provides me with the energy to have a productive and happy day.

This energetic framework has been a game-changer impacting how I live my days and manage my energy (my mood, stamina, attitude, drive to take action).

My E-Factor clients have reported the same… once they learn their unique energetic profile and talk through what that means for them and how they can get more or less of certain levels of energy in their day, they engage with life and stress in a different, more productive way. They have a model to decide how they want to respond to life’s circumstances. Hello freedom of choice!

It’s so freakin great, y’all. We all get stressed and fall into lower level of energies. This isn’t about being perfect… it’s about recognition and making a choice.

I would be *thrilled* to introduce you to your personal energetic profile and talk through actions you can take to live each day more in flow, so check out my E-Factor assessment and 90 minute coaching call spring special.