People Can Change

You know the old adage “people don’t change”?

Well, I think it’s bullshit. I know it’s bullshit.

It’s not easy. It doesn't happen overnight. But people can change.

And I’ve found that for me and my clients, a fundamental change that you can make that will have a ripple effect throughout all areas of your life is evolving your mindset.  

Let me give you a somewhat simple example since we are just coming off the holiday season.

While I love my stepdad dearly, he has the reputation of being a particularly thought-less gift giver. I know many guys have this stereotypical reputation (not all of them! I have been lucky enough to know some very thoughtful gift giving men in my my life), but it’s a trend with him every holiday that involves getting a gift for my sweet mom.

This year we decided to chill on the gifts during the holidays, but we still wanted to make each other feel seen and special with a token of appreciation.

So, I had my simple list and was feeling good about it. No stress for me.

Then a few days before Christmas I get a text message from my stepdad… “What should I get for your mom? She’s impossible to shop for.”

Really?! You live with the woman and you can’t think of one single thing she wants or needs??

So my initial reaction was to send back a message along the lines of “Well, what does she like? What has she mentioned she needs or wants to do? You live with her, hasn’t she mentioned anything??”

But in this moment of reaction, I realized I had a choice to make.

Being mindful of my attitude and realizing I had control over the situation, I decided to shift my mindset.

How would that response actually help the situation? Besides putting me in a place of catabolic energy and putting more stress and guilt on him?

We know he is not a thoughtful gift giver. That is not his value. That’s not going to change over night, so why should I expect anything different?

So, instead of reacting and perpetuating more negative energy, instead I thought, perhaps my gift to him is to let him know that I’ll think of something and take care of it for him.

That simple mindset shift gave him some relief, allowed me a fun challenge of figuring out what else I could get her (and gave me an excuse to go shopping, which I rarely do these days), and ended the cycle in my mind of disappointment and frustration.

Again, a simple example, but it completely shifted my energy and my attitude toward the entire situation.

I was also able to recognize that this was me breaking a pattern… because in the past I would have not only ruminated on this, but bitched to my mom about it and continued to perpetuate a storyline that just brought everyone down.

(and I do recognize the irony that now my mom is certainly reading this post BUT, good news mom, he still came to the conclusion of some things you wanted once the pressure was off!).

Your thoughts create your beliefs which drive your actions.

So, your thoughts literally create your reality.

If you’re coming from a mindset that isn’t in alignment with your dreams, goals, and how you want to live your life each day, it’s going to be a lot harder to make them a reality.

Changing your mindset is possible.

In fact, it just takes some focused attention and intention.

While most of my blog posts relate to a tip to help you recognize and potentially change your mindset to one that will better serve you, I want to take it a step further.

I’m offering a 5-day Success Mindset Challenge with a step by step process to help you…

  • Bring more consciousness and awareness to how you respond and make decisions.

  • Determine your values and what truly lights you up, as these are key to bringing more success into your life.

  • Practice some simple tools to bring more mindfulness into your day to day life. It’s in the stillness and the space of the mindfulness moments that you can actually tap into what you want to create in your life and what needs to shift to get there.

  • Approach life from a supportive mindset versus one that’s not serving your goals.

By the end of the 5 days you’ll have personally experienced a mindset and energy shift and set a foundation with tactical tools to experience more success and positivity in your life.

Before the end of the challenge you’ll also set an intention so you move forward with the tools and focus to consciously create whatever it is you want in your life.

Your days can and will be filled with more of the good stuff and less of the negative, bring you down, shitty stuff.

You can read more about what to expect from the challenge here and go ahead and sign up!

It starts January 21st. And it’s free. And will take you about 10 minutes a day. So…… no brainer.

People do change.

Let’s start.


Elizabeth St. JohnComment