When to not Ask

If I can make a bold assumption…. there’s some stuff you want to get done in your lifetime. If you’re getting this email, you probably have some goals and dreams.

Maybe you want to climb the ladder at work so you can change the culture and be a better leader than what you see today.

Start your own business. Open a restaurant. Become a yoga instructor. Quit your job and completely switch industries. Fight for social justice in whatever way is most important to you.

Maybe you want to write a book. Leave a marriage you know isn’t working. Give a TED talk. Spend a year in Bali.

Confession, the Bali one is mine :)

Your dreams, whatever they are, are 100% valid.

REPEAT. Your dreams, goals, and desires are 100% valid if they are true to you.

And, it’s totally normal that there are all sorts of reasons you can come up with why you shouldn’t take that first step towards achieving your dream.

I won’t belabor the importance of mindset or of recognizing your limiting beliefs in this post (but hit me up if you need some support identifying those roadblocks).

But what I do want to help you do today is recognize one thing that might be holding you back that absolutely doesn’t need to.

Other people and their resistance.

Have you ever wanted to do something bold, risky, or “crazy” and you have family or friends who tell you you shouldn’t do it for all sorts of reasons? I’m going to make another assumption… that the people in your life are people whom you love and trust (if that’s not a fair assumption, let’s for sure work on that).

People have opinions because they love you. They want the best for you (for the most part… make sure you’re aware of who is actually bringing you energy versus draining you).

But if their opinions of your dreams are something that’s holding you back, it’s time to let that go.

I recently got to see that author of Creative Trespassing, Tania Katan, speak (and sign my book - yay) and she said something that really hit me.

Someone will always give you a reason not to pursue your dreams if you ask them. So don’t ask.”

This is not to say that we need to go through our lives alone… not at all. Community and support is SO important.

But what it reminded me, and what I hope it reminds you, is that you can TRUST YOURSELF. You are the only one who really knows what’s best for you. What’s worth the risk and reward. What you need to do to follow your dreams.

I’m not claiming this is easy. Moving from a place of relying on others’ advice to following your gut (those intuitive hits I talk about) is a risk on its own. If you start listening, your internal compass will guide you. Ok, that sounded super woo-woo, but it works. I promise.

That’s why I love coaching. I’m not a mentor. I’m not a therapist. I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m here to go through a deep creative exploration process with you so you can take action on what you want for your life.

Mindfulness In Action:

  • What’s something you want to do, big or small, that someone else’s negative opinions or fears are holding you back from doing?

  • What could you do today to dig deeper and find your own solution or next step?

  • Do it.

I’m here in your corner to support your decision. As always, leave a comment or shoot me an email (elizabeth@elizabethstjohn.co) if you need any support. And send this post to a friend if you think it’s something she needs to hear today.